Wednesday, March 25, 2015

A bit of history: 3

Brother and I had just returned home from a visit with dad when we got the news. Mom announced
that she and my stepfather were married now. I was crushed. Life then took a turn for the worse.

Tigger vanished, our house was repainted an eerie dark brown and stepfather proceeded to beat my mother. 

I never actually witnessed the punches but regularly heard the upset from behind the always locked bedroom door. 

The bruises, the tears and the battered look were frequent.

One time there was a commotion from their bedroom that was extremely unnerving. 

Crying, fearful and in a desperate hurry I bolted back to my bed, got in and pulled the covers all the way up to my nose. Stepfather was coming! 

He stormed out of their room, stomped across the upstairs landing and came directly into mine. He was naked and I was terrified.

Sometimes at night I would find myself crawling on my hands and knees from my bedroom to the bathroom. 

Feeling weak, parched and exhausted my only goal was just to make it to the toilet, knowing there I could reach some water. 

I'd dip the red plastic bathroom cup into the commode and gulp. It was as if it was all I could do to just get there.

Stepfather had four children from a previous marriage. Two boys and two girls. The youngest of the boys led me away and assaulted me in my bedroom closet while his sister kept the door.

Fearing I had a "baby in my tummy", I later tried to tell mom and, though I saw no immediate response whatsoever, she evidently addressed it. 

The snickers, giggles and dirty looks from Stepfather and his kids said it all.

Dreams of suicide began. Casting myself head-first off the top of the staircase or out of my bedroom window to the ground below was constant. 

Surely, in an 8 year old's mind, THAT would take me to safety.

I remember on one occasion Mom, who was visibly hurt and shaken, actually took us to dad on a weekday. 

This was unheard of and she left very upset. Maybe to hide or tend to her wounds. I was scared for her and learned to worry young.

testimony by: Hallie Agar

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