Wednesday, March 25, 2015

A bit of history 6: HERE AM I

Nightmares were relentless.

I repeatedly had dreams of being in the backyard looking up at, or walking around, our gloomy brown house. And sometimes I was simply lost in the neighborhood. 

All I could hear was mom's voice calling "Hallie"… "Hallie"... "Hallie"...over and over again. I would search and circle and try to answer but could never ever find her.

There were also the faces looking through the windows at me from the dark outside and arms with hands coming out of the walls and doorways of our house to poke or grab at me.

On the rare event of spending the night at a friend's house I would get so overcome with anxiety and worry about mom that I would end up calling home to check on her.

The police came to our house on one occasion.

One of the officers took me aside to keep me out of harms way. He tried to console me by asking about my birthday and promising a chocolate cake. A child's hope! 

I watched for him but- never saw him again.

The school nurse promised to take me on a vacation with her, as she treated me for a stomach ache. Again, a child's hope?... Maybe? 

I believed her but- nothing.

An elementary teacher once asked me if everything was alright at home. Though I longed to scream out in agony "No! Please help me!"... I simply replied "Yes."

A child's hope was gone.

testimony by: Hallie Agar

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